Ahhhhh...

I feel like the clouds are parting.

Last night, I managed to get to library to do some writing (It's like going to the office), I stopped for a 6 minute tanning session (for the wedding festivities), I came home, got changed, did some sprints on a hill nearby (I didn't do as many as I wanted but it's a start), and this morning I got some yoga in. I wasn't as relaxed as I'd like to be but since I was starving, I'll cut myself a break. I always prefer to practice on an empty stomach. Years ago I took classes that seemed to fall after dinner and I didn't like the "oktrynottothrowupinhere" feeling. I'm not a morning person but mornings seem to be better for my practice.

Which is probably why it's a constant struggle to show up everyday.

Anyway, I am finding a pattern in my schedule lately. That always makes things easier. My son's internal schedule recently changed so naturally it through off my schedule (and yoga practice). I think I'm getting back to it.

Another stress relief: all the planning I've been doing is slowing working itself out. I still have a laundry list of things to do but I'm chipping away at it.

This passed week has been full of all sorts of different stresses and I'm really trying not to let it effect my eating habits too. I might be trying to do too much. We are working on "setting ourselves up for success" - which basically means if we leave the house and it's close to dinner time we make a point to bring a snack of some sort to avoid eating out (especially fast food!). So we were at dinner the other day (I told you I'm a work in progress!) and I realized something that should be so completely obvious...

I make sure my son eats very healthfully. I avoid fatty, high sodium foods. (Poor kid doesn't know what mac'n'cheese tastes like.)  What I need to start doing is looking at food in a new way. I scan what he eats and I should be doing the same for myself. This, of course, brings up the issue of taste. Baby T hasn't had all the tasty goodness that I have experienced but maybe there is a happy medium somewhere. I don't want to be so strict that once he's out of the house he goes on a binge. But I don't want him to think eating like this is okay. (I'm sure this is one of the many challenges of parenting.) 

Anyway, I need to start caring for my body in a way that I would care for my son. I have heard people say something similar to this before I don't think I fully understood. I understand now but I know it'll still be hard.