10 posts tagged “daily”

I am still contemplating if I'll be keeping this blog going. It lacks focus and direction. I've been reading up about writing and finding a niche. A lot of resources recommend starting with what you know... how do I zone in on something I am no longer part of?

My life use to be filled with completed tasks and getting things done. Multi-tasking was my forte. Now, I multi-task but it moves MUCH slower. And half the time I can't get around to completing what I start. I love my child to pieces but I feel like a part of me is lost and unsure of which direction to go...

So for you mom-writers out there: how do you do it?

I have been doing some serious birthday party planning. My son turns 1 early in August. We don't usually throw parties so I think this one is getting a little out of hand. It started as an innocent BBQ party but now it has grown into a whole outdoor affair.  Complete with jumpy things.

So far the amount of people invited is roughly 154 people. Yeah. I don't expect everyone to show since a few are out of state. It'll be a big bash anyhow. We're getting a huge cake and a slightly smaller one for the little guy to demolish.

In other news... can I say Baby T is not so "baby" anymore? Yep, that's right folks, he decided he wants to walk! It was mostly a nightly ritual - he would walk back and forth between my husband and I... and that was it. Now the distance between us gets longer and longer and if I don't pay too close attention I'm finding T launching himself off of whatever he's holding onto. 

I'm getting my hospital bag ready.

I am toying with the idea of moving my blog. I absolutely LOVE it here and I love the people I've met here too. I even feel creative here.

So what's the problem?

It really bothers me that non-vox members can't leave comments. Not like I write for the comments but I have a bunch of friends - with blogs - and it is nice when we can keep up with each other through them.

What's a girl to do?

I have been feeling the urge to simplify things in my life. I tend to overload myself with information and clutter - even the appearance of my blog was getting really busy. I am constantly stumbling over books throughout my house. Even though I can't bring myself to get rid of them - I can't keep them out all the time.

I have been writing queries and cover letters - not to mention researching the hell out of becoming a freelance writer. There is no set time limit but for some reason it all feels so rushed. Like I'm not going to ever get this opportunity again so I'm trying to make the best of it. I have an internal accountant tapping her watch saying, "Time is almost out. You should make money before you have to go back to work."  My husband is completely supportive with everything I do but I'm worried that we can only survive on one income for so long.

So, of course, I am thinking of freelance writing to bring in a dribble of income. I still don't call myself a writer. I feel that I haven't earned the title yet. It can get discouraging - researching two parts of the same field (children's books and freelancing). But I am determined. I just wish I had a map as to where to start.

The hubby, Baby T and I went for a nice bike ride. We got caught in the rain. It was refreshing. Baby T was perfectly dry in his little bike trailer but the rest of us had to hack it in the wet *ahem, cold* weather. It's one of the simplest of exercises but it's so uplifting. I need to do more of it...

...including other simple exercises, such as, yoga, walking, jogging and anything that doesn't require me to pay an arm and a leg for a gym membership!

PS: OH! And I got accepted to a school for children's writing. I had to take an aptitude test before applying (and I read somewhere that they only accept about a third of the applicants). I don't know if I'm going to take the course yet but it's nice knowing I've got the aptitude for it!

Finally, the house is quiet. I don't know what's been going on lately but it's been non-stop.

Baby T has been randomly waking up at night and I think he knows my husband isn't home. We've had some pretty severe storms here and there is a lot of people without power. So being the Tree Guy he is - he's on call and basically works nights now. It's a very temporary thing. They finally sent him home this afternoon after they realized he had been working almost 24 hours. He was home for four hours and they called him back in for another all nighter.

Happy anniversary.

So much for our dinner plans. lol. The next two weekends are chock full of bachelorette parties, weddings, birthdays and oh yeah - Father's Day. Maybe the hubby and I shouldn't have gotten married on June 11th. His birthday is the 20th and Father's Day falls right in between. This year we've got my sister's stuff in the mix too.

Anyway, my thoughts are so scattered at the moment because I am EXHAUSTED. I usually write when the little one is asleep but like I said he's been waking up randomly and napping very little during the day. He must miss his "Daaa". I know I do.

On the brighter side, I've been getting ready to send out some manuscripts. It's pretty stressful. I've got to make sure everything has the right postage, contents, and it has to be perfect. Editors are so picky. I don't know if I would want their job though - there is a lot of crap out there.

I just hope my story isn't one of them.

I love writing. And I love doing the business (paperwork) side of things. I have never had to mesh them together before. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. There's hope and there's doubt. I don't want to be sending in junk but let's face it: you can tweak something indefinitely. I don't want to get stuck in a hole.

I think I'm going to take a stab at this sleeping thing now...

I came across an ad today. Children's Circulation Clerk. My local library is hiring. I would LOVE to work in a library. Weird, I know. I've been spending a lot of time there as it is - writing, story time, and researching. Why not get paid to be amongst bookcases full of every kind of writing?

Our library is right up the street which makes for a good walk (not in this heat!). Unless I'm dragging my laptop there, I always get there by foot. Can't hurt the waistline.

This position is full time (although, I've been in contact with other clerks who say there's a part time position opening too).  I've got some decisions to make.

Right now, I've been staying home with my son and trying to learn everything I can about the writing industry. Children's books. Magazine articles. Commercial marketing. I would ultimately love to work from home and take care of my son. My husband works full time but he's on call a lot (and he gets called in frequently). It's safe to say that if I were to get a job - no matter what the hours - I would need a childcare provider.

Which costs money.

I am really stuck about this because what I bring home might pay for the childcare itself (maybe with a little left over). But can you put a dollar amount on experience? Would editors look at my stories differently if I worked in the Children's department of a library?

Don't get me wrong, we are not well off. Extra income would help us get to where we want to be faster but we aren't at the point where it's a requirement.

Of course, I worry about where my son will go to daycare. I would need to trust them implicitly.  As it stands I've been thinking about childcare one or two times a week so I can get some daytime writing done. But since I'm not bringing in any money yet I can't justify paying for it.

*sigh*

I really don't know what to do in a situation like this. I guess if I had to work anywhere, it would be in a library. However, my goal is to ultimately work for myself. Hard work and freedom rolled into one. I like the ability to take my writing wherever I go... if we want to head to New Hampshire for a few days, we just have to worry about my husband's job.  Writing can go anywhere I am.

I'd like to hear what others would do in a situation like this.

What do you do when you have a little one who is ALL about getting his hands on your computer?

Play with this.

And repeat.

I'm feeling a momentum in life in general.

I might not be where I want to be financially or physically but I'm getting there. I am noticing some things are getting easier. For instance, I am not a great cook. I can read recipes and they turn out great. When it comes to creating dinners out of thin air I have some trouble. We don't eat horribly but there is room for improvement. I have been trying to alter our dinners little by little to create healthier meals.

I am feeling the most momentum in my writing. Don't get me wrong, it's still a struggle to sit down. With a 10-month old it's not the easiest thing to do. When I first decided I wanted to write children's books I looked for a critique group. I looked all over for a face to face group and I looked for an online group.

Finding a face to face group is next to impossible in my area. Most of the groups that had started were either in stand still mode or disbanded. So, I decided to start one. I found a SCBWI member that was in my area and contacted her. Come to find out she was looking for a local group too. Now, I've got a partner in crime. We are in the final stages of getting this group together and we'll be on our way.

I also decided (before starting the local group) to start an online critique group. I had no idea what I was doing but now it feels like a well oiled machine. We've got a little over 15 members and it's (surprise!) a success. This group has provided more help (and helped me grow more) than I ever expected.

Like my schedule isn't busy enough, my Partner in Crime is also part of a book club that meets once a month. Apparently, there are other members with little ones in my son's age range. Since, I don't really know anyone around here, it'll be good to get out AND meet potential friends/moms/playdates. It can't hurt. Or can it?

I was reading Prana's blog and I came across this quote:

"Most of us who start out on the yoga mat do not realize that, if we dedicate ourselves to practice, it is only a matter of time until the mat becomes our altar."

This is something I should keep in mind. I am not very religious. Spiritual, yes. Organized religion, no. Not to knock what others do but it's just not for me. Some day I would love to feel at home on the mat. I would like to leave my feelings at the door and (for once) be completely at peace with myself. Like a coffee addict, I would love to feel anxious because I haven't had my Cup O' Yo(ga) yet. I think I need to be writing my goals down and visualize them.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

There is a windchime sprinkling it's noise through the air. Just outside the window, it symbolizes my son. We picked it out together - our first family purchase. He loves the jingling sound and if I'm not careful I'll get a fat lip. He whips his head around so quickly when he hears it.

My husband called. He's going to be late. We've got massive thunderstorms coming our way. I love seeing what nature can do but it worries me a little since the last two massive storms we've had - we got struck by lightning. Both times. Power strip or not, I lost a computer. Both times. The first one that went was my newer one but not by any means up to date with current technology. My second one (aka: The Dinosaur) was my backup until I found exactly what was wrong with the first one. Eventually, I just had to get a cheapy laptop - which is what I'm using now.

The last storm we had was so bad it fried anything in the house that had computer-like features: computer, xbox, and the transformers in our bedroom light and furnace. It was a doozy.

You can bet once the sky darkens, I will be offline, computer unplugged and as far away from an outlet as possible.

There are so many things in life that are hard to do. Things that must be done.

Things like exercising (hello, yoga!).
Things like writing.
Things like saying something to someone who will have a hard time hearing it (but needs to).

We are faced with challenges on a daily basis. There are goals in my life and most of them just require showing up. Doing the hard work. I think these obstacles serve a purpose. They pop up in your face, give you a dirty look and ask, "so how bad do you want this?"

Years ago the hardest thing on my list above was speaking my truth. I always felt bad, apologetic. Like I would hurt someone's feelings. I kept myself locked up and dealt with whatever pain to avoid inflicting it elsewhere. Ironically, the easiest thing for me at the time was exercise. I was busy but I didn't have the time limitations like I do now. I was aggressive in my sports. Healthy. And writing? Well. That has always been a constant. It was more for enjoyment and expression (even though I wouldn't completely allow myself to come out on the page- too many snoopers).

Now, I'd say it's exactly opposite. I have learned that as long as I'm not mean there is no harm in being honest. I have also learned to not take on other's emotions. Why should I try do the work for them? I've got my own thing going on. Exercise is the challenge. Finding time. Finding energy. Finding myself again...even though I've changed so much. Ever feel like you're wearing one of those sumo suits? Thick padding on the outside, real body in? The kind where it's a challenge to walk? Ok. I'm not THAT big but I feel that way sometimes. It's a struggle. It's a work in progress. It sucks.  On a positive note, I am writing - right now. It's still for enjoyment (even though I'd like to call myself a "writer" one day) and I hope to one day make a living at it.  Like many other things it's so hard finding the time to do something you love. Especially, something you want to help pay some of the bills.

So the good news is, I showed up for writing today.