3 posts tagged “rambling”

I was reading Prana's blog and I came across this quote:

"Most of us who start out on the yoga mat do not realize that, if we dedicate ourselves to practice, it is only a matter of time until the mat becomes our altar."

This is something I should keep in mind. I am not very religious. Spiritual, yes. Organized religion, no. Not to knock what others do but it's just not for me. Some day I would love to feel at home on the mat. I would like to leave my feelings at the door and (for once) be completely at peace with myself. Like a coffee addict, I would love to feel anxious because I haven't had my Cup O' Yo(ga) yet. I think I need to be writing my goals down and visualize them.

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There is a windchime sprinkling it's noise through the air. Just outside the window, it symbolizes my son. We picked it out together - our first family purchase. He loves the jingling sound and if I'm not careful I'll get a fat lip. He whips his head around so quickly when he hears it.

My husband called. He's going to be late. We've got massive thunderstorms coming our way. I love seeing what nature can do but it worries me a little since the last two massive storms we've had - we got struck by lightning. Both times. Power strip or not, I lost a computer. Both times. The first one that went was my newer one but not by any means up to date with current technology. My second one (aka: The Dinosaur) was my backup until I found exactly what was wrong with the first one. Eventually, I just had to get a cheapy laptop - which is what I'm using now.

The last storm we had was so bad it fried anything in the house that had computer-like features: computer, xbox, and the transformers in our bedroom light and furnace. It was a doozy.

You can bet once the sky darkens, I will be offline, computer unplugged and as far away from an outlet as possible.

I feel like the clouds are parting.

Last night, I managed to get to library to do some writing (It's like going to the office), I stopped for a 6 minute tanning session (for the wedding festivities), I came home, got changed, did some sprints on a hill nearby (I didn't do as many as I wanted but it's a start), and this morning I got some yoga in. I wasn't as relaxed as I'd like to be but since I was starving, I'll cut myself a break. I always prefer to practice on an empty stomach. Years ago I took classes that seemed to fall after dinner and I didn't like the "oktrynottothrowupinhere" feeling. I'm not a morning person but mornings seem to be better for my practice.

Which is probably why it's a constant struggle to show up everyday.

Anyway, I am finding a pattern in my schedule lately. That always makes things easier. My son's internal schedule recently changed so naturally it through off my schedule (and yoga practice). I think I'm getting back to it.

Another stress relief: all the planning I've been doing is slowing working itself out. I still have a laundry list of things to do but I'm chipping away at it.

This passed week has been full of all sorts of different stresses and I'm really trying not to let it effect my eating habits too. I might be trying to do too much. We are working on "setting ourselves up for success" - which basically means if we leave the house and it's close to dinner time we make a point to bring a snack of some sort to avoid eating out (especially fast food!). So we were at dinner the other day (I told you I'm a work in progress!) and I realized something that should be so completely obvious...

I make sure my son eats very healthfully. I avoid fatty, high sodium foods. (Poor kid doesn't know what mac'n'cheese tastes like.)  What I need to start doing is looking at food in a new way. I scan what he eats and I should be doing the same for myself. This, of course, brings up the issue of taste. Baby T hasn't had all the tasty goodness that I have experienced but maybe there is a happy medium somewhere. I don't want to be so strict that once he's out of the house he goes on a binge. But I don't want him to think eating like this is okay. (I'm sure this is one of the many challenges of parenting.) 

Anyway, I need to start caring for my body in a way that I would care for my son. I have heard people say something similar to this before I don't think I fully understood. I understand now but I know it'll still be hard.

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. Stressed but more on the sad side of the scale. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't want to use the word depressed but I've just been bummed. I am aware there are never enough hours in the day but this is ridiculous. How am I suppose to find the time to write?

The passed few days I have attempted two different posts. I deleted them both. If I want to be serious about writing I need to be able to focus on what I'm putting down on the page. I don't really care how this post turns out. For right now, I am willing to just write badly.

I am trying to make more time for yoga as well. Maybe that's why I'm not with the program. I'm just out of balance.